


Live to Regret

by Riona



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2014-10-21
Packaged: 2018-02-22 02:46:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2491631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riona/pseuds/Riona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a point at which you're beyond redemption. Mukuro is starting to wish she hadn't passed it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Live to Regret

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the problem with writing for _Dangan Ronpa_ these days: how do you keep all the different translations straight? I've decided to go with the original Let's Play conventions, so Oogami and Oowada have double 'o's, 'Monokuma' is 'Monobear', 'Ultimate'/'Super Duper High School' is 'Super High-school Level', people are mainly known by surname, honorifics are included where characters would use them (Junko sometimes uses honorifics and sometimes doesn't, just to bring despair to fanfiction writers) and so on.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this!

The moment she’s back in her room, Mukuro pulls off her wig and calls for Monobear.

“This wasn’t the plan,” she says.

“Oh, yeah,” Monobear says. “The plan. Plans are boring, don’t you think? Knowing what’s going to happen before it actually happens? So I changed my mind.”

The plan was that Mukuro would leave the group and join her sister behind the scenes. Mukuro, disguised as Junko, would storm up to Monobear and refuse to take part in the trials, and Monobear would drop her through a trapdoor for breaking his rules.

It all seemed to be going as discussed. And then Monobear said, “Well, as I’m in such a good mood after our first murder, I guess I’ll let you off with a warning this time!” and disappeared, leaving Mukuro with no script and no orders.

“What do you want me to do?” she asks now.

“Well, think about it,” Monobear says. “There’s a _little_ despair in seeing Junko Enoshima-san’s gorgeous hairstyle disappear down a trapdoor in the first act, never to brighten everyone’s day again, but isn’t there far more in bonding with Junko Enoshima-san and then discovering that she was a traitor all along? Besides, I could use another person on the inside. Oogami-san might turn out to be trouble.”

All right. It’s not an ideal situation – how long is she going to be able to keep up this act? – but at least she understands it now. “So I should wait for instructions?”

Monobear sighs. “I was going for ‘try to make friends’, but I guess you’re not exactly Miss Personable. Still, at least spend enough time around your classmates for them to notice you exist. You can’t only rely on great hair.”

-

It’s a little after Kuwata’s execution when Monobear comes to visit her again.

“Are you aware that Oowada-kun and Ishimaru-kun are holding an endurance contest in the sauna?” He shakes his head. “Kids these days are so reckless! And Naegi-kun’s no better; he was supposed to be watching them, but he’s given up and gone to bed. Anything might happen!”

Naegi was supposed to be watching them?

How will he feel if something happens while he’s not there? What will he do?

There’s no point in thinking about this. Her sister needs her.

“What do you want me to do?” she asks.

-

Naegi’s late into the cafeteria in the morning; he shows up just after Mukuro, who still hasn’t mastered the art of putting on make-up. He looks like he’s slept badly, although Mukuro doesn’t imagine anyone’s really slept well since Maizono’s body was found.

He glances around, biting his lip. “Has anyone seen Ishimaru-kun or Oowada-kun?”

Asahina frowns. “Actually, now that you mention it... Ishimaru’s usually the first here, isn’t he?”

Naegi’s eyes widen and he bolts out of the room. A moment later, they hear his scream from across the hall.

Mukuro runs with the others into the bathhouse to see what’s happened, although of course she already has an idea. Naegi is struggling to free the metal mop handle wedged between the handle and frame of the sauna door. Oogami steps in to take over, and in a moment the door is clear.

“Ishimaru-kun!” Naegi exclaims between panicky breaths, pushing the sauna door open. “Oowada-kun!”

Oowada stumbles naked out of the sauna, gasping and cursing and barely able to stand. Through the steam, Mukuro can make out... are those his clothes, lying in a soaked-through heap in the corner? Did he go into the sauna fully dressed?

Of course, that’s not the only thing lying on the floor of the sauna.

It’s the outcome Junko must have expected. Oowada has always had a temper. Mukuro pictures the stress they must both have been under: the intense competition; the intense heat; the moment of someone finally reaching their limit and trying to leave, only to realise they were shut in. It’ll be an easy trial, if Ishimaru really is dead, but at least the question of who shut them in there will lead to more suspicion amongst the other students, more tension, more murder.

Mukuro pushes it out of her mind.

“I-Ishimaru... kun?” Naegi whispers. His face is pale.

“Passed out,” Oowada growls, trying to drag himself back towards the sauna. “Ah, f-fuck, don’t think I can... carry him. Get him outta there.” He rolls over onto his back, lets out a hiss through his teeth. “You better, you better not fuckin’ drop him.”

-

Oogami carries Ishimaru into Oowada’s room, at Oowada’s insistence.

“But... don’t you need some rest?” Naegi asks Oowada. “I mean, you were in there as well. You shouldn’t have to give up your bed. I can watch Ishimaru-kun.”

Oowada shakes his head. “I’m stayin’ with him ’til he wakes up.”

-

Ishimaru recovers later in the day, and he and Oowada come into the cafeteria together, their arms around each other’s shoulders.

“Guys!” Asahina exclaims. “Are you all right?”

“We’re fine,” Oowada says, giving her a thumbs-up. “It’d take more than a little heat to bring my bro here down.”

But their arms are still around each other, and Mukuro isn’t sure they wouldn’t both collapse if they let go.

Naegi, sitting across the table from Mukuro, shifts uncomfortably. “Um, I’m really sorry. I was supposed to be watching you, and I... I should’ve stayed. Or made sure you stopped before I went to bed. Or... I shouldn’t have let you do something so dangerous at all.”

“Nonsense!” Ishimaru exclaims. “We may have endured an ordeal, but we have found a bond more intense and precious than you can imagine! I wouldn’t change things for the world, Naegi-kun!”

Naegi laughs and catches Mukuro’s eye. “I guess they’re friends now,” he says, lowering his voice. “You should’ve seen them yesterday.”

“Naegi-kun, you said the door was held shut, didn’t you?” Celes asks. “By a mop, if I recall. Now, who amongst us would have done that?”

“Whoever it was, I’m gonna fuckin’ rip their head off,” Oowada growls.

“It wasn’t one of us,” Naegi says. “It must have been Monobear. Why would one of us do that?”

-

When Monobear hands out the next motive, secrets he’s threatening to reveal to the world if there’s no murder within twenty-four hours, Mukuro doesn’t know what to expect. A blank piece of paper? A genuine secret from her past? A note with instructions from her sister?

But it’s none of these. It’s nothing at all. There’s no envelope for Junko Enoshima.

Should she say something?

Celes beats her to it. “Oh? It seems you’ve forgotten one of us.”

“Ah, yes, well,” Monobear says. “It turns out that Junko Enoshima-san has no embarrassing memories or secrets at all! Congratulations on your splendid life, Enoshima-san.”

And he vanishes.

“No secrets at all?” Hagakure asks, scratching his neck uneasily. “Isn’t that kind of... weird?”

“Let’s not forget that Monobear spared her when she broke his rules,” Celes says. “And we do have reason to believe that there’s a double agent among us, considering that unfortunate sauna incident. Are you truly without secrets, Enoshima-san?”

“Hey, we can’t start doubting each other,” Naegi says. “If she’s with Monobear, why wouldn’t he give her an envelope? I mean, he’d know it’d only make her look suspicious. He’s just trying to stop us working together.”

It’s so strange, the complete trust he has in her. He trusted her during their schooldays as well, back when she was still Mukuro Ikusaba. When everyone knew she’d been a member of Fenrir and most people were afraid of her, he still trusted her. All she can think about, whenever he speaks up in her defence, is how wrong he is.

But he has a point. Why _didn’t_ Junko prepare an envelope for her?

-

“Why was there no secret for me?”

Monobear tilts his head. “Huh? You want me to threaten to reveal that Enoshima-san is actually the much less delightful Ikusaba-san? Or that Ikusaba-san ended the world? The people on the outside already know! What kind of plot twist is that?”

“Some of the others are starting to suspect me.”

“So you use your charm and people skills to persuade them that you couldn’t possibly be a traitor!” Monobear says. “You do... _have_ charm and people skills, right? You’re not that Mukuro Ikusaba girl, right? I sure would hate to be in this situation if I were a hopeless recluse who can’t talk to anyone but my sister and my very best robot bear friend.”

Mukuro hesitates. “Can you tell me what to say?”

“Oh, fine,” Monobear says. “I can’t roll my eyes, but imagine I’m rolling my eyes right now. You can’t keep up a convincing act. _Fine_. You’re lucky I’ve got such a soft heart. I’ll get you out of this mess.”

He waves a torn-open envelope at her: the same style as the envelopes he delivered all the secrets in. Hagakure’s name is on the front.

“You already had this prepared?” Mukuro asks, taking it.

Monobear shrugs modestly. “What can I say? I’m a forward planner.”

She looks at the piece of paper inside. _Hagakure-kun might have been the one to lock the sauna!_

“‘Might’?” she asks, looking up at Monobear.

“Well, I’m not going to _lie_ ,” he says. “I happen to know that Oowada-kun is meeting someone in the boys’ changing room tonight. I know what you’re thinking: scandal! But sadly their tryst is going to be cut short, because I’m going to leave this where Oowada-kun will find it. No steamy footage on the security cameras tonight. I hope you appreciate this.”

-

“Oowada-kun, let go of him!”

“You don’t get it – he’s the asshole who locked us in the sauna, _this_ is the fucker who nearly killed my brother—”

“I didn’t, I didn’t, I don’t know what he’s talking about, _please_ —”

“ _Shut the fuck up!_ ”

“I’ll give you a reading with a thirty per cent discount, I’ll give you a _free_ reading, please just don’t kill me!”

Nobody even glances at Mukuro when she comes into the cafeteria for breakfast. It’s pretty clear what has their attention.

“Oowada-kun, let him go!” Naegi begs. “It’s probably just Monobear trying to trick us!”

“Show us your secret!” Oowada snarls, pressing Hagakure harder into the cafeteria wall. “You’re saying that’s not the secret Monobear gave you, prove it! Show us your envelope!”

Hagakure whimpers. “I can’t show you, I _can’t_ , it’s my biggest shame, I – gh – gah—”

“ _Brother!_ ”

At the sound of the voice, Oowada steps back at once, letting go of Hagakure’s collar. Ishimaru is standing in the doorway to the kitchen, looking stunned.

“Brother, what is the meaning of this?” Ishimaru asks.

“He’s the one who locked us in!” Oowada yells, gesturing wildly at where Hagakure just was; Hagakure is actually quietly trying to sneak away. “He tried to fucking kill you!”

Ishimaru looks even more deeply shocked. “Hagakure-kun! You are the one who locked the sauna door? That’s a severe violation of safety regulations!”

Oowada looks back at Hagakure, sees him making for the door. “ _Get the fuck back here!_ ”

Hagakure bolts out of the cafeteria. Oowada seems about to go after him, but Ishimaru holds him back with a hand on his arm.

“My brother,” Ishimaru says, “please don’t do this for my sake. School is not a place for violence. Hagakure-kun should be dealt with through the appropriate disciplinary channels.”

Oowada glares at the door for a moment longer, then lets out a sigh, all the tension going out of his shoulders. “If it’s you asking, bro.”

-

_Ishimaru-kun,_  
 _Congratulations! You have been nominated to receive an award for academic excellence. The award ceremony is at 1.45 pm in the gym. There is no need to inform your classmates; they are already aware and will be in attendance. Please be prompt! Early or late arrivals will be severely reprimanded._  
 _Regards,_  
 _Headmaster Monobear_

 

_Hagakure-kun,_  
_It has come to my attention that all the weird fortune-telling stuff in your room was interfering with your studies, so I’ve taken the liberty of confiscating it. No need to thank me; watching my students achieve their full potential is its own reward! If you ever want to see it again, though, come to the gym at 2 pm._  
_xoxo_  
_Headmaster Monobear_

 

_My brother,  
I’ve received a strange message from Hagakure-kun. It seems to be a threat, but I can’t be sure. Can you meet me in the gym in five minutes to discuss it? You’re the only person I can talk to about this._

 

“Shouldn’t you sign the one for Oowada-kun?” Mukuro asks.

Junko frowns at her, kicking her feet up onto Monobear’s control panel. It feels so good to see her in person again. “What, sign it ‘Monobear’? Or ‘Junko’? That’d seem pretty weird, don’t you think?”

“Ishimaru-kun always signs his notes.”

“Are you saying I should _forge Ishimaru-kun’s signature_?” Junko gasps, her eyes wide. “This doesn’t have anything to do with Ishimaru-kun! I just thought I’d write a note to my bro Oowada about that weird message I got from Hagakure-kun. And I just happened to do it in Ishimaru’s handwriting, because it’s nice and easy to read.”

Mukuro takes the notes. Hesitates for a moment.

“Are you sure we need to do this?” she asks.

Junko tilts her head. “Are you questioning my orders? Aren’t you supposed to be the perfect soldier?”

“I – I just thought...”

“ _You_ need to do this,” Junko says, “because you need to make things up to me. I had a good feeling about Oowada’s night-time meeting with Fujisaki-kun, but I had to cut it short because you’re a hopeless sister who can’t keep anyone’s trust. You owe me a murder.”

-

Mukuro is poised by the door when Ishimaru comes into the gym’s anteroom. No wig, so with any luck he won’t recognise her even if he catches a glimpse of her. She takes him down with a swift kick to the head: not enough to kill him, but enough to keep him unconscious for half an hour or so.

Long enough.

“Oh, no, what a terrible turn of events!” Monobear exclaims, popping up. “Should I open the infirmary for this hard-working, comatose young man?”

“Possibly,” Mukuro says. “Someone will need to watch him when he wakes up.”

“In that case, it’s open! Only the best care for my pupils.” He regards Ishimaru for a moment, his little cotton paw resting thoughtfully on his little cotton chin. “Actually, while it’s open, could you bring a blood transfusion pack in here? For full effect, I think we need to transfuse some blood all over his face.”

Mukuro nods. “What if Hagakure-kun goes for help after finding him?”

“I can hold him up outside the room. Don’t worry about the timing. All you have to do is deliver the last note. Even you can manage something like that, can’t you?”

-

Mukuro stares down at Hagakure’s body.

It’s the same twisting unease she felt when they discovered Maizono, when Kuwata was executed, but it’s stronger now. She and Hagakure were never exactly close – she can’t really say she’s ever been _close_ with anyone but Junko – but she spent two years in his company, and now he’s dead. Because of her.

It’s less abstract now. She knew that the first murder would never have happened without this situation that she and Junko set up, but in a way she could still tell herself that Kuwata and Maizono made their own decisions. This time, though... Oowada is the one who’ll be executed, but Mukuro made this happen. She killed Hagakure. And that means she killed Oowada too, although he isn’t dead yet.

She can’t even tell herself she did it for Junko. She did it to repay something Junko did for her, but that isn’t the same thing. If she’d been better at playing her role, if she’d been able to deflect suspicion, Junko wouldn’t have had to step in and frame Hagakure. And Mukuro wouldn’t have had to set up this murder in return.

She brought it on herself and everyone else by being a disappointment of a sister. It’s a familiar pattern in her life.

-

It isn’t a difficult trial.

“Far too straightforward,” Togami says, distastefully, when Monobear announces that they’re correct and Oowada is the culprit. “As your final act, you could at least have done us the service of leaving an interesting mystery behind. I would have thought even you would have enough presence of mind not to target the person you were publicly throttling hours beforehand.”

“I thought he’d killed my bro,” Oowada mutters, staring at nothing. “I wasn’t thinkin’ straight.”

“So it was because of me?” Ishimaru whispers. Two years as classmates, and it’s the first time Mukuro has ever heard him speak so quietly.

“If it’s any consolation,” Monobear says, “I don’t know if he really cared about you at all! After all, you’d be just as dead as the rest of them if he’d ended up graduating.”

Some people look away during Oowada’s execution, and Mukuro considers it, but somehow she feels compelled to watch it to the end.

-

It’s been two days since the second trial, and Ishimaru hasn’t said a word.

It’s starting to get to Mukuro.

She’s been on edge the past couple of days, or more on edge than usual, and she’s starting to understand why. She never realised it before, but having Ishimaru around – barking instructions, keeping schedules – actually helps to calm her down. He’s always run this school like a military institution, and the military is something she understands.

“Is there something we can do for him?” she asks Monobear after breakfast, in her room.

Monobear stares at her. He waddles around her in a wide circle, staring at her from all angles, and then stares at her some more.

“Well, I guess he’s not making for great television right now,” he says, eventually. “But I’m not a therapist. Because bears can only be bearapists. But I’m not one of those either. You’ll have to help him yourself.”

-

How does she pull Ishimaru out of his current state? Where does she start? All she knows is battle and despair; making people feel _better_ is something completely alien to her. What does Ishimaru need right now? Order? Lessons?

He needs Oowada to be alive. He needs to exist in a world where his friend never committed murder in his name. Mukuro broke him, and she has no idea how to put him back together.

But she knows someone who might be able to help.

She’s been watching Naegi for two years. She’s seen him reassure their classmates about all the worries and insecurities of normal school life; she’s seen him try to keep everyone’s spirits up while society collapsed around them. If anyone can get through to Ishimaru...

She finds him in the library, looking through the bookshelves. “Naegi.”

His smile is genuine, but there’s a tired edge to it. For a little while, after his memory was wiped, his old untroubled smile was back: the one from their first year at Hope’s Peak. Mukuro hadn’t realised she’d missed it. It’s gone again now, of course; it went when Maizono did. “Hey. Do you know if they have any of Fukawa-san’s books here?”

“Don’t think so. Why?”

He shakes his head. “I keep saying the wrong things when I try to talk to her. I thought maybe they’d help me understand her better.”

Mukuro instinctively suppresses her smile. He did this during their schooldays as well: he read every book Fukawa had ever written, trying to work out how to get through a conversation without upsetting her. As far as Mukuro knows, it didn’t help.

“Anyway, are you okay?” he asks. “You look really serious.”

Oh. That’s right: she’s not supposed to stay expressionless when she’s playing the role of Junko, is she? Still, it makes sense to look serious right now.

She leans against the wall. It’s strange and uncomfortable, consciously slouching against walls or desks. She wants to stand with her weight evenly balanced, ready to move at any moment in any direction. “I’m worried about Ishimaru.”

Naegi sighs, scrubs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, me too. I don’t know if he’s even been sleeping.”

“Can you come with me and talk to him?” she asks. “I’m not great at this touchy-feely sympathy stuff. Maybe you can get through to him.”

He laughs a little. “I’m sure you’re better than you think. But I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

-

“You shouldn’t blame yourself,” Naegi says. “Or Oowada-kun. The only reason any of this happened was because Monobear was manipulating us.”

Ishimaru says nothing. He’s said nothing since they entered his room. It’s amazing he was even able to let them in. It’s amazing Naegi can find it in himself to keep talking.

“Monobear’s wrong, you know,” Naegi says. “I think Oowada-kun did care about you. I don’t know if that makes things worse. But he didn’t really try to cover anything up. I think he wanted to be caught.”

Ishimaru stares into space.

-

“I don’t know if we really made a difference,” Mukuro says, as they walk away from Ishimaru’s room.

“I thought I saw something,” Naegi says. “In his eyes. Maybe it was just wishful thinking.”

They’re quiet for a moment.

“Thanks for asking me to do this,” he says. “I felt like I should do something, but I guess I needed someone to push me into actually doing it. I feel better. I hope Ishimaru-kun does too.”

She doesn’t know what to say to that, so she just shrugs.

“I might try to talk to him again later,” he says. “Uh, if you’re not busy, would you like to come with me?”

“Me?” she asks, a little taken aback. “Why? I mean... I wasn’t really any help in there.”

He shrugs and smiles. “You were there. You made it easier.”

Her first instinct is to say no. It’s a waste of time. Ishimaru wasn’t any better when they left than he was when they arrived.

But Naegi thinks he saw something in his eyes, and maybe he’s right.

“Okay,” she says. “If you want.”

-

Ishimaru still won’t speak the second time they visit, but Naegi is enthusiastic when they leave. “He was making eye contact! That’s got to be a good sign, right?”

The third time, his expression changes halfway through Naegi’s one-sided conversation; a slight frown pushes out the blankness, just for a moment.

“Enoshima-kun,” he murmurs, “your skirt is far too short.”

Naegi laughs and looks up at her. “See, you’re definitely helping!”

Maybe Ishimaru will be back to his normal self eventually, after all. Assuming he isn’t killed by then, of course.

-

“I’m bored bored _bored_ with Yamada’s character gimmick,” Junko announces. “All he does is make references! The ratings are gonna fall through the floor if he keeps hanging around! And can you imagine the copyright issues he’s gonna give us if we ever try to sell DVDs?”

Copyright law isn’t something the tattered remnants of law enforcement are really paying much attention to, as far as Mukuro knows, but she says nothing.

“So I’m calling on you!” Junko says. “Of course, _you_ know how to get rid of him, riiiight?”

Mukuro hesitates. “Do you... want me to shoot him?”

“Oh, right, I forgot that’s the only thing you know how to do,” Junko says. “Yamada makes milk tea for Celestia Loliberg every morning. Tragically, _someone_ is going to poison the milk tonight. Guess who?”

With a loud fanfare, she produces a small glass bottle from her sleeve. A moment passes before Mukuro takes it.

“You’re telling me to kill Celes,” she says.

“I get to decide who counts as the culprit, and I say Yamada’s the one who’s going to kill her. Being executed for a crime he didn’t even know he was committing? I can’t wait to see his _face_.”

“What if he graduates?”

“Oh,” Junko breathes. “Then I can’t wait to see mine.” She hits a button on the console. “Okay, the gate’s open; you can go down. But make sure no one—”

“ _Hey!_ ” Yamada’s bellow carries through from the video feed in the data processing room next door. “ _Everyone! I’ve made a discovery! The fourth floor is open!_ ”

Junko groans. “Ugh. I guess the fourth floor is open, then. Knew we should’ve met at Night Time, but I just couldn’t wait to tell you my brilliant plan.” She shakes her head. “I’ll be glad when he’s dead.”

-

Naegi is the second person to come into the cafeteria, just after Monobear’s morning announcement.

“Enoshima-san? You’re not usually here this early.”

Mukuro usually has to struggle with Junko’s make-up in the mornings, but Junko personally redid her make-up yesterday evening, and she hasn’t slept since then. It occurs to her only now that maybe she should have come in late anyway. Monobear might say that the culprit is the one who _gave_ Celes the poisoned tea, rather than the person who poisoned the milk in the first place, but everyone’s still going to try to work out who was responsible. If suspicion falls on her, will Junko have to pull her out again? Will she have to orchestrate _another_ murder after this one?

“Couldn’t sleep,” she says. She doesn’t have to feign her yawn. “Y’know, everything that’s happened.”

Naegi gives her a sympathetic smile and ducks into the kitchen.

Mukuro can’t follow him.

She can’t. She can’t make it look like she’s keeping an eye on the milk. She’s already screwed up by breaking character and showing up on time.

She goes into the kitchen. At least she manages not to run.

Naegi is opening the fridge.

“I wouldn’t touch the milk, by the way,” she says. “Pretty sure it’s off.”

He looks surprised. “Really? I thought it was new.”

She shrugs. “Monobear’s idea of a joke, I guess. You know how he scratches all the expiration dates off.”

“I hadn’t noticed.” He examines the carton. “Huh. Why would he bother doing that?”

“So he can dump bad milk on us, apparently,” she says, grabbing the milk out of his hand and pouring it down the sink. “You’re welcome.”

“Um, thank you, but... if you knew it was bad before, why did you put it back in the fridge?”

For a moment, Mukuro has no idea what to say.

“I guess I just felt like being an asshole,” she says. “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

-

“You didn’t even wait to see if he was getting the milk! All he had to do was open the fridge and you were _dying_ to tell him ‘oh, by the way, that’s poisoned’!”

“I didn’t tell him that,” Mukuro says.

“Was this just because Naegi-kun’s your favourite?” Monobear asks. “Or were you looking for an excuse to get rid of the milk? Were you having second thoughts all along? Did you not like my plan for getting rid of boring Yamada-kun and hard-to-pronounce Celes-san? Do you just _hate milk?_ ”

She doesn’t know what to say.

Monobear throws his paws up in exasperation. “And now I have to set up another murder! It’s been way too long! Time for another motive, I guess.” He strikes an exaggerated thinking pose. “Hmm. Hmmmm. I’ve got it! How about I reveal the traitor in the students’ midst? Everyone’s gonna go after her, right? Wanna take bets on how long she’ll last?”

Mukuro freezes. “You want me to be the next victim?”

“I’m just saying let’s see what happens,” Monobear says. “Class dismissed!”

-

The traitor he exposes is Oogami.

Mukuro doesn’t know how she feels about that. There’s the relief in knowing Junko wasn’t really planning to make her a target, but also...

Well, if she’d been revealed, this charade would be over. The tension of waiting to be discovered would be over. She wouldn’t be expected to arrange the deaths of her classmates any more.

Maybe she’d be more comfortable as a target than as a perpetrator. She knows she can defend herself.

-

A couple of days later, there’s a note pushed under her door.

 _Ikusaba,_ the note says. _Please meet me in the rec room at midday. There is a matter we need to discuss._

She doesn’t recognise the writing. Junko changes her handwriting constantly, so it could be hers, but why would Junko write her a note rather than sending Monobear to speak to her directly?

Someone else, then. Someone else knows who she is.

-

“Ikusaba,” Oogami says. “Thank you for coming.”

“I came to tell you you’d put this under the wrong door,” Mukuro says, waving the note in her hand. “So who’s Ikusaba? Your mastermind friend?”

“This morning, I came across the student profiles of our class,” Oogami says. “There was one student whose name was not familiar to me. However, I had seen her face many times before.”

“It’s been a long few weeks or whatever,” Mukuro says. “I’m not really in the mood for riddles.”

“Please tell me why you disguised yourself as Junko Enoshima.”

Mukuro considers her. Is there really any point in pretending not to understand? Will the others even believe Oogami if she tries to tell them about this, now that they know she’s a traitor?

Wait. She found the student profiles? The ones in the headmaster’s office?

She broke down a door? She broke the rules? In that case, there’s nothing to worry about; Junko is free to kill Oogami the moment she becomes inconvenient. Presumably she’s just watching for now because she expects Oogami to do something interesting first.

Suicide, probably. Why else break the rules?

“Have you told anyone else about this?”

Oogami shakes her head. “I wished to give you the opportunity to explain yourself without the pressure of suspicion from all sides. It... is an opportunity I would have appreciated myself.”

Clever lies are Junko’s field of expertise. Words are the only weapon Mukuro has never been able to master. “I can’t explain myself.”

“I see,” Oogami says.

For a moment Mukuro just waits, tense, ready to deal with an attack if it comes, but Oogami makes no move to attack her.

Mukuro turns and leaves the room.

-

Monobear pops up to block her on the stairs to the fourth floor. “Ikusaba-san, where do you think you’re going?”

“To the data processing room, to join you,” Mukuro says. “I’ve been discovered. I’m no longer useful here.”

“Don’t be so pessimistic; you weren’t all that useful in the first place,” Monobear says. “But there’s no need to go as far as dropping out of school! There’s a simple solution, after all. Oogami-san hasn’t told your classmates yet.”

“You’re saying you’re going to kill her?”

“Goodness me, no! I’m saying _you’re_ going to kill her.”

Mukuro pauses.

“She broke a rule,” she says. “If you want her dead, you can kill her yourself.”

“Come on, surely your supersoldier skills are getting rusty? Don’t you need a little target practice?”

Mukuro says nothing.

“Besides, I don’t just want her dead. I want a _trial_. You owe me one of those, remember?”

-

Mukuro flattens herself against the wall by the rec room door, her most powerful semi-automatic pistol in her hand. Oogami hasn’t moved from the chair inside; she’s probably contemplating how to go about telling all the other students about this. Mukuro knows the exact angle she’ll need to shoot at. She could push off from the wall, take aim and fire six shots through the door’s glass window in two seconds.

Any moment. Any moment now.

Mukuro thinks about Oogami giving her a chance to explain herself.

She thinks for a moment, absurdly, of Asahina.

She still hasn’t fired.

_Junko gave you an order,_ she tells herself. _You have to kill her to protect Junko’s plan. You have to kill her to protect yourself._

She has to kill her.

She can’t.

All the people she’s killed for her sister, for Fenrir, all the lives she’s ended without a second thought, and she can’t make herself kill this one girl.

Why?

She tries to think. She can’t kill Oogami. Out of respect for her power? Or because they spent two years together as classmates?

Could she have killed any of the others? Actually killed them by her own hand, rather than wedging doors shut, spreading suspicion, creating circumstances in which someone _might_ die, but she could hope that they wouldn’t?

_Was_ she hoping that?

Their deaths were what Junko wanted, which means Mukuro should have wanted them as well. And yet she’s felt more ill with every order Junko has given her since this killing game started.

Mukuro lowers her gun.

She can’t kill Oogami because she doesn’t want Oogami to die. Or because it will destroy Asahina, or because Naegi trusts her, and she hates that she doesn’t deserve that trust.

Whatever the reason, what this means is that Junko isn’t the only thing in her life any more. There are other people who matter to her now. And they’re dying, one by one, because of her.

She closes her eyes.

Maybe she could have disobeyed at the beginning, before the murders started. Maybe she could have joined the others then, and maintained some sort of fragile friendship until they found out what she’d done to the world, at least. It’s too late now. There must be a limit even to Naegi’s forgiveness.

This is despair, she supposes. She’s never really known what’s so special about it.

-

Oogami calls a meeting in the cafeteria. She’s courteous enough even to leave a note for Mukuro. Mukuro deliberately comes in twenty minutes late, when the explaining will be over; she doesn’t want to see the moment her classmates realise she’s been deceiving them all this time.

Of course, Oogami only knows the barest outline of Mukuro’s role here. She knows that Mukuro has disguised herself, and from that they’ll probably draw the conclusion that she’s the mastermind. They don’t know anything about what’s happened to the world outside. What she and her sister did to the world outside.

Mukuro walks into the cafeteria, carefully not looking at anyone’s expression. She’s left her wig in her room. She’s got used to the weight and the warmth of it; it feels strange to be without it now.

There are gasps and mutters, but Kirigiri is the first to address her directly.

“Oogami-san has told us a rather vague story about you. It looks like at least part of it is true, Ikusaba-san. Would you mind filling in some detail?”

-

She tells them everything.

She tells them about their missing memories. She tells them about the collapse of society, and the public broadcast from the security cameras. She tells them that they locked themselves in the school, and she tells them that she and her sister took that and used it to make them kill each other in front of the world.

She tells them about Oowada and Hagakure. When she makes the mistake of looking at Ishimaru, he’s shaking.

She throws everything down in front of them, because it’s the only way she’s ever going to get out of this. She has to destroy their trust in her so irreparably that she’s no longer useful to Junko. Maybe they’ll kill her. Maybe Junko will kill her. Maybe Junko will just pull her out, retire her from this game. Whatever happens, she won’t be involved in any more murders. She can’t.

There’s a long, long silence when she eventually stops talking. She finally lets herself look around.

She doesn’t look at Naegi.

“If we, if we, if we all m-mob her...” Fukawa mutters, throwing terrified glances in Mukuro’s direction.

“Please understand that I do not want her dead,” Oogami says. “I was planning to end my own life today, but in revealing Ikusaba’s secret I have taken on the responsibility of remaining here to keep her safe. We can allow no more murders in this school.”

“You were... what?” Asahina whispers. “Sakura-chan, no...”

“Asahina,” Oogami says, softly, “you need to know that I may not be able to stay even now. I broke one of Monobear’s rules. If I am killed, please watch over Ikusaba for me.”

“You won’t be killed!” Asahina exclaims. “If Monobear comes after you, I’ll kill him first! And I’ll destroy all his backups! He won’t be able to touch you, not while I’m around!”

A smile passes over Oogami’s face. “Thank you. But do not endanger yourself.”

“Where is he?” Asahina demands, slamming her fist into her palm. “I’ll get started right now!”

“We don’t have Monobear or his controller here,” Celes says. “What we _do_ have is another person who was involved in setting this situation up, if you happen to be in the mood for violence.”

Asahina shakes her head fiercely. “Sakura-chan says we shouldn’t hurt her, and that means we don’t hurt her.”

“Surely we need to run this school democratically, if we’re to build any sort of lasting life here?” Celes asks. “I wasn’t aware that Oogami-san had taken on the position of ruler. Personally, I’d prefer not to sleep next to a terrorist.”

Mukuro nods. “I set up Hagakure’s murder,” she says. “I was essentially the culprit. If you want to execute me, I’ll accept that.”

“We didn’t vote for anyone to be executed because we _wanted_ to!” Naegi exclaims, so fiercely that it startles her. She meets his eyes before she can stop herself. There’s a side of Naegi she’d never really seen before the trials began, passionate and determined, and that Naegi is the one looking at her now. “They were victims as well. And they were still our friends.”

“Perhaps,” Mukuro says. “But I’m your enemy.”

“Look,” Naegi says, “if you’re having second thoughts, that doesn’t mean you have to die! You could help us! You could try to set things right!”

“Ikusaba claims to have caused the end of the world,” Togami says. “How, exactly, do you expect her to ‘set things right’?”

Naegi doesn’t look away from her. “Don’t die hating yourself,” he says. “Please.”

“You are a loathsome excuse for a human being,” Togami says. “You’ve committed extraordinary crimes. You’ve penned your classmates of two years in a prison and forced them to murder each other for no apparent reason other than ‘my sister told me to’. But, by all means, listen to Naegi.”

Mukuro hesitates. Togami is right; she can’t ever make amends for what she’s done. So why would Naegi want her to live? What does he expect her to do?

Monobear springs out of a panel in the floor.

“Ikusaba-san!” he snaps. “A word!”

“A private audience with the mastermind, by any chance?” Kirigiri asks, looking thoughtful.

“Don’t even think about it! Anyone who tries to follow her gets a Monobomb in the face.”

“Um,” Fujisaki says, shifting uneasily, “I think I agree with Naegi-kun, but I – I don’t know if we should let her out of our sight. Just in case.”

“I don’t imagine we have anything to fear,” Celes says. “If I were the mastermind, I would kill her at this point. She’s a loose end. It’s highly unlikely we’ll ever see her again.”

“Gasp!” Monobear exclaims. “Do you really think I’d do something like that? I’m appalled. C’mon, Ikusaba-san; let’s ditch these jerks and their thoroughly unfounded accusations.”

Mukuro walks out of the room.

-

“Will you execute Oogami-san for breaking a rule?”

“That’s seriously your first question?” Junko asks. “You’re even more pathetic than I thought.”

Asahina believed in Oogami so fiercely, even knowing she’d been in the service of the mastermind. Mukuro can’t stop thinking about it. Of course, Oogami never actually killed anyone.

“Well,” Junko says, “I guess she gave everyone a new motive for murder by exposing the other traitor. And I do like to reward good behaviour. So I guess I can let it slide.” She laces her fingers together. “Now, let’s talk about the _other_ thing. The thing where _you_ don’t kill Oogami-san. The thing where you give away the big end-of-the-world reveal before the final act. The thing where you’re exposed and you decide the best response is to go ‘hey, I _could_ survive to cause more despair another day, but instead I’ll offer to die just in case it makes someone feel better’.”

Mukuro wants to run away. There’s nowhere to go.

“Look,” Junko says, gentle and sympathetic, “I get it. You’ve made some friends, and now you’re having second thoughts about the whole ‘mutual killing’ thing. You’d be surprised how many people don’t want to see their friends get murdered. I mean, it’s a total disappointment, because you’re supposed to be my sister. You’re not meant to be the same as all the other losers. But I guess this is understandable.”

Mukuro stares at her hands.

“Fortunately, because I, unlike you, am a _great_ sister, I’ve come up with the perfect solution!” Junko announces. “Your problem is doubt, right? So you want some way to get rid of that, right? Sounds pretty good, right? Right? Right?”

It’s all Mukuro wants: for her sister to give her a way out, something that will loosen this knot in her stomach without making Junko hate her. She looks up.

She should have realised by now that Junko only ever gives her hope for one reason.

“All you have to do is kill Naegi-kun!”

Mukuro goes still.

“I know, it’s so brilliantly simple, right? I was struck dumb when I thought of it, too! See, Naegi-kun makes you want to be a better, boringer, less Despairing person. He makes you feel like there are other paths open to you. And that’s what’s eating you up: because you _want_ to go down those paths, but that’d take initiative. And initiative’s never been your area, right, sis?”

She taps her long nails down Mukuro’s cheek. Mukuro doesn’t move.

“So you kill him! You close off those paths. It’s not like you’d ever go down them anyway; they’re just _there_ , tormenting you. So you kill him, and they’re gone. You don’t have to worry about them any more.”

It... it makes a sort of sense to Mukuro. She isn’t just torn between hope and despair; she’s torn between Naegi and Junko. If Naegi died, maybe that conflict really _would_ go away. Take away everything in her life that isn’t Junko, and she’ll be able to devote herself fully to Junko’s vision. No more doubt.

Can she do it? Can she kill Naegi?

“I know you already let me down on Oogami,” Junko says. “But I’ll be generous and assume you were thinking about the practical side of things. I mean, _I_ wouldn’t want to have to kill Oogami; that girl’s a monster! Naegi-kun, though, he’s a _way_ easier target. Maybe start small if you’re feeling out-of-practice. Kill Fujisaki first, work your way up.”

Mukuro bites her lip.

“And Naegi trusts you!” Junko exclaims. “Even knowing what you are! I mean, think about it: how many people are gonna let their guard down around you now? It’d be a waste _not_ to kill him.”

It’s like a high wind building in her mind, drowning out every other thought, _kill Naegi or live like this forever_ , but something else in what Junko is saying gets through. “You think he still trusts me?”

Junko groans. “Oh, I’m sorry. Here I thought I was talking to one of the fearless founders of Super High-school Level Despair, but it looks like all we’ve got here is this shoujo romance heroine. Look: your problem is that Naegi makes you want to be a hero, which means you can’t appreciate your role as a super-cool villain. So you kill him. Problem solved.”

-

Mukuro doesn’t sleep. She doesn’t bother trying to. She sits in the chair in her room and stares at the wall.

_Kill Naegi._

Junko’s right, as always. Naegi makes Mukuro feel like she could be something different. Pursue a new dream. Find a life where the people who’ve been kind to her don’t have to die in despair.

But it’s an illusion. Mukuro’s done too much. Nobody is ever going to forgive her. Junko is the only person whose love she can count on, if she can even count on that after being so weak.

If she kills Naegi, she kills the illusion of choice. No more smiles or undeserved kindness. No more dreaming about impossible lives. She can put all this uncertainty behind her.

Kill Naegi, and she doesn’t have to think about this any more.

-

She rings his doorbell before the morning announcement. It’s a couple of minutes before the door opens. Naegi is looking sleepy and confused, but his gaze clears when he sees her.

“Ikusaba-san?”

Mukuro says nothing.

Naegi takes a step back, holding the door open for her. “Did... did you want to come in?”

She walks into the room. She doesn’t know whether he’ll be dead or alive when she leaves it.

-

Naegi sits on the end of his bed, selfconsciously trying to flatten his sleep-ruffled hair. “So, uh... did you come here to talk about something?”

Mukuro remains standing. She has a pistol and a survival knife holstered under her skirt, but she might not need them; Naegi’s left himself completely open and unguarded. She could have her hands around his throat in half a second, and she knows he wouldn’t be quick enough or strong enough to save himself. She could hand him her knife to defend himself with, and she’s still not sure he’d be able to make himself stab her.

Junko was right; Naegi is an easy target. Physically weak, painfully naïve. It’s almost incredible he’s survived this long in a situation like this.

But he makes life better for everyone. He talks to people; he reassures them. He made friends with the whole class quickly when they first started at Hope’s Peak, and when he had his memories taken away, when he woke up in a nightmare where nobody could be trusted, the first thing he did was try to make friends again. Maybe nobody wants to kill him.

She doesn’t want to kill him.

It doesn’t matter. He has to die, or she’ll never stop dreaming that she can be free.

“Ikusaba-san?” he asks. “You still haven’t said anything.” He laughs, awkwardly. “It’s... it’s kind of scary.”

If she gets behind him before she cuts his throat, she won’t have to see his expression.

“All right, then I’ll talk,” he says. “Did you think about what I said? I’m sure you love your sister, but you must know this is wrong. I mean, you offered to be executed, so I _know_ you know this is wrong. So do you want to help us? To be honest, we could probably use your help.”

It’s an impossible dream. It’s a path she’ll never be able to go down.

But she can just _look_ down it, can’t she?

“What could I do to help?” she asks. “I can’t open the doors. I can’t do anything.”

“That’s not true! You’ve already helped us, just by telling us the truth. I mean, we were killing each other to get out of here. Now that we know what happened, maybe there won’t be any more murders. I’m sure there won’t be.”

He’s right: she’s ruined Junko’s main motive. And Junko was still generous enough to give her the chance to redeem herself by killing Naegi. How can she turn that down?

“Do you want to sit down?” he asks.

She sits down next to him, carefully arranging her skirt to hide her weapons. She probably doesn’t _have_ to stay on her feet and battle-ready. It’s clear enough that he isn’t going to attack her.

Her breath catches when Naegi puts his hand on her arm. It’s so tentative and light a touch that Mukuro can barely feel it. As if he’s afraid that anything more could leave a bruise. As if he thinks that _he’s_ the one who has to worry about hurting _her_.

“Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think you want to hurt us,” he says. “So I’m telling you you don’t have to. And if your sister comes after you for it, I’ll try to protect you.”

It breaks through the storm in her mind, and she actually laughs. Makoto Naegi thinks he can protect her?

Naegi looks slightly embarrassed. “I mean, uh. I guess you can probably protect yourself. But I’ll do whatever I can.”

He says she has options, and... it’s ridiculous, but something about the way he looks at her makes her believe him.

“There are a gun and a knife under my skirt,” she says. “Take them away from me.”

Naegi goes from ‘slightly embarrassed expression’ to ‘full-on scarlet flush’. He jerks his hand away from her arm. “Under your – I can’t do that!”

She doesn’t want to touch them herself, just in case she tries to use them. But Naegi believes in her. He trusts her. Maybe she can trust herself, just for a moment.

Mukuro pushes herself up and walks over to the round table by Naegi’s empty bookshelves. She takes her knife and pistol and sets them down.

Naegi is eyeing the weapons uneasily when she turns around. “This is just... symbolic, right? You’ll take them with you when you go? Or are you leaving them here? I don’t know if I’m comfortable having those in my room.”

“You’re more comfortable knowing they’re in mine?”

He shrugs helplessly. “I don’t know. At least you actually know what to do with them. I’d probably just shoot myself in the leg.”

She sits down beside him.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me,” she says.

He’s quiet for a moment.

“I don’t think it’s something I can really forgive,” he says, eventually. “I don’t feel like I... have the authority to, I guess. Because it wasn’t just me who was hurt. Does that make sense?”

She nods. It’s a more generous answer than she was expecting.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

It’s almost funny. Who else would _apologise_ for not being able to forgive the deaths of his friends and the end of the world?

He hesitates. “But... how should I put this? I think people can change. I think you can become a better person. And then you don’t have to feel bad about what the old Ikusaba-san did.”

She doesn’t know if she can really believe that.

She tries to smile at him anyway. It feels awkward and wrong on her face, now that she’s no longer posing as Junko. But Naegi laughs and smiles back, the tension suddenly broken, and it’s his old bright smile, the one she thought she might never see again.

-

Naegi calls a meeting in the cafeteria. Mukuro pauses and takes a moment to brace herself before walking in.

“Oh, look who it is,” Celes says.

“I remind you that you are not to harm her,” Oogami says.

Celes laughs behind her hand. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Let’s not forget that you’re a traitor yourself, Oogami,” Togami says.

“Exactly,” Fukawa mutters, wrapping her arms around herself. “Her and the s-soldier, working together? We don’t s-stand a chance!”

“We can trust Sakura-chan!” Asahina snaps.

Naegi nods. “I think we can trust Ikusaba-san as well.”

“Interesting,” Togami says. “Are you going to tell us to trust Monobear next?”

“She came to my room with weapons. I think she was sent to kill me. But she didn’t.”

Togami raises his eyebrows. “Well, I can’t imagine anything more trustworthy than that.”

“She wants to work with us,” Naegi says. “Shouldn’t we at least give her a chance? If we throw her out, what’s she going to do then?”

“Well, there’s a simple enough solution,” Togami says. “We kill her.”

“Why don’t you try?” Asahina asks, folding her arms. “I mean, you’ll have to get past Sakura-chan first, but I bet that’s easy for the great Byakuya Togami.”

Togami looks Oogami up and down.

“I wouldn’t sully my hands with the task myself, of course,” he says, eventually.

“You see?” Naegi asks. “She’s here, so why don’t we work with her?”

“Can you at least make yourself useful?” Togami asks, turning to Mukuro. “Are you going to open the door?”

She shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t have the override.” Not that there’s much out there for them, anyway.

There’s a pause.

“Then we stay here,” Naegi says. “Let’s live together. You said we were shut in here to be symbols of hope, right? I don’t know if I can really live up to that, but let’s try. Maybe... I don’t know, maybe we can do something good for the world.”

“But Enoshima-san will just shut off the cameras, won’t she?” Fujisaki asks.

“Or k-kill us all,” Fukawa mutters.

Kirigiri shakes her head. “If she does that, it means she’s lost. The people watching will know she failed to make us despair, so she abandoned her project. All she’ll have done is show them that there’s still hope in the world.”

“Um,” Yamada says, “so... so does that mean she _won’t_ kill us?”

“She might,” Kirigiri concedes. “But our deaths will mean something.”

Fukawa gives an odd little nervous bark of a laugh. “H-how comforting.”

“Okay!” Asahina says, pulling up her collar, all determination. “We’re gonna have the best communal life ever. And no murders, okay? Sakura-chan said we couldn’t have any more murders. No murders!”

“If any of you still happen to be thinking of murder,” Kirigiri says, her eyes lingering on Celes, on Togami, “bear in mind that Ikusaba-san has access to the feed from the video cameras. Your case won’t get to trial. We leave here together or not at all.”

“My goodness, Kirigiri-san,” Celes says, “I’m a little offended. You know why I was invited to attend Hope’s Peak, and you think I can’t spot a bluff?”

Kirigiri regards her coolly. “Most people would be more offended that I might think them capable of murder.”

Celes laces her fingers beneath her chin, smiling. “It’s no secret that I’ve always spoken of adaptation. Now that we know the state of the world outside, it seems adaptation or death are our only options, whether we stay or leave. You expect me to kill to return to a life that no longer exists?”

“Exactly,” Naegi says, looking relieved. “We have no reason to kill anyone. We don’t have to lose anyone else.”

Always so trusting, no matter how dangerous a person might seem. He was wrong from the start to trust Mukuro, and yet she still decides to believe him now. If they don’t have faith in each other, this will fall apart.

-

They stay in the school. Most of the others are still wary around her, but nobody’s actually made an attempt on her life yet, and she’s invited to all the communal meetings, although she sometimes suspects that’s only at Naegi’s insistence. She doesn’t know why he’s prepared to fight so hard for her, but she’s determined to make sure that this time, at least, his trust isn’t misplaced.

Ishimaru is starting to talk again.

The food is sometimes ridiculous – one day the kitchen is restocked with nothing but cabbages – but it’s still coming in, and that means Junko hasn’t decided to kill them yet.

Kirigiri calls them into the bathhouse on their second day of living on cabbage. She shows them what she found when she dug through all the cabbages: a paper bag containing a loaf of bread and a note. _Don’t give up._

They share the bread there in the changing room, away from the cameras, so they won’t get the delivery driver in trouble.

Maybe one day they’ll escape. Maybe they’ll die within these walls without ever knowing if they managed to make a difference to the world outside. Maybe Junko will break through their resolution and the killing will start again.

For now, they’re making some kind of life together. It’s shaky and uncertain and Mukuro has no idea what she’s doing, but the others are here, and that makes things easier. Naegi is here, and he knows who she is, and somehow he can still smile at her.

For now, that’s all she needs.


End file.
